Tax Master T-Shirts

IRS: April is the cruelest month.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

IRS Audit Section

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'