Tax Loophole Explorer T-Shirts

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"If the bastards are going to take away my non dom status I've a good mind to leave the country and go and not pay my taxes somewhere else!"

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"No offence Jon, but..."

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

'Wait a minute! Our balance sheet is completely fictious, our profit is based on faked numbers and our register of companies entry is pure nonsense? In that case, they can't sue us for tax evasion because we don't exist!'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I can't respond to a hypothetical question."

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your tax loopholes are?

Businesman shakes out his piggy US bank only to find other piggy banks marked OffShore.

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

"You get 12 sick days, 4 personal days and 2 'wardrobe malfunctions'."

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

"Is there some way we can monetise our non-profit status?"

'Everything I hide from the IRS I do it for the children.'

'So many loopholes, so little time.'

"Thanks for saving our business again accountancy man."

IRS Auditing, 10 loopholes or less.

Me Doing My Taxes

For those who seem to have everything.