Tax Humor Fan Prints

"You're self-assessment form is a joke!"

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Just gifts?... No salary, tips, or business income at all.'

IRS - Our Holiday Message: "It's better to give than to deceive."

Property Taxes.

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

"There's a professor Van Helsing to see you"

'I recommend you use the short form.'

"I've seen better mirages!"

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"