Tax Form Maestro Gifts

Annual sleep disorder for tax accountants.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Records?

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

The merger hits a snag.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"...And please let the merger do through!"

Fat happy businessman with a euro coin printed on his chest

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

IRS: April is the cruelest month.

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

Remorse code

Accountants can be fun!

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

'How about, 'I am dynamic and results driven.'?' - 'It needs more 'pizazz', more 'sizzle'!' - 'What about, 'I am a dynamic, results driven, innovative, highly motivated team player.'' - 'Almost perfect...' - '...just swap 'team player' for 'chubby little

'This is where we merged our 'creative' and 'accounting' departments.'

Chinese business cuisine.

Door to business for corporate consolidation attorneys with many names on it.

'You're in great shape! You've got years of hostile take-overs ahead of you.'

'The negotiations would go quicker if you'd stop flicking lit matches at me.'

'At least I understand the form this year.' - 'Perhaps it's time we improved it again.'

'Just a personal question - who audits your tax return?'

'. . . and 14% said they didn't own a TV set, although I could hear it in the background!'

"Hey, you're good! I could do with someone like you who knows all the loopholes."

Next year, taxpayers will have the option of donating their tax refunds to save the shrinking surplus.

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

'I didn't know he was also into corporate mergers!'