Report Maestro Gifts

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

Text Culture

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

A woman playing a keyboard

Target your message

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'Almost finished.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

Computer Music

"Office of quality assurance"

The merger hits a snag.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"...And please let the merger do through!"

Musician Sneezing Musical Notes

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'Impressive resume. Great interview. But can you rock?'

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

'This is where we merged our 'creative' and 'accounting' departments.'

Chinese business cuisine.

"Something has happened to the canary."

"If we stay on message, I think our silo can puncture their balloon."

'You're in great shape! You've got years of hostile take-overs ahead of you.'