Tax Filing Jester Pillows

Directory in tax return office alarms taxpayer.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Tax Collector

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

New Improved I.R.S.

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'Grible is a fiscal conservative. You know — 'if it ain't broke, don't subsidize it.''

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'