Tax Elf Pillows

"I need a CPA to help me find the bad ones hiding in tax shelters."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Ho, ho, you're fired."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'Tax.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

Monster under the bed.

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Romney Tax Desk: Accounts Receivable...Accounts Believable.

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'Dad's saying he controls my allowance because of something called the Commerce Clause.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."

"I'd like to put the past behind me, but the IRS won't let me."

IRS. Can I check off a dollar to be used against candidates for public office?

"My accountant said it was a great write off."

"How much sugar do you take, twenty percent, or forty percent?"

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'What we need is a tax on stupid ideas. The revenue out of Washington alone would balance the budget in two years.'

'When I die please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. Write on the envelope, now you have everything.'