Tax Dodger Jokester Pillows

Taxman takes money from Man doing up a house

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

tax

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

Tax relief

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

Little Taxes.

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'