Tax Code Decoders T-Shirts

Revenue Canada gift shop.

"But how can my taxes exceed my income?"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

The transparent safe box of Panama

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

Information vs. confusion

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

Marooned Optometrist

"Hello, IRS Refunds?...I just called to say I love you, I just called to say how much I care..."

'It's the toxic learning environment.'

'I tried forgetting about life's little stresses and I got busted for tax evasion.'

'You've done this before.'

'If I had known he writes tax code for the IRS, I never would have asked him to fill out a comment card.'

Unknown computer error.

"Then the hard drive says to the floppy, 110010001110011..."

'This is a rip-off!'

Honk if you're against Warren Buffett's millionaire tax.

"Welcome to tech support. You have three minutes to rage at me before we put an actual technician on the line."

'What burns me is those bums who evade US taxes by being born in some foreign country and just staying there!'

I have a degree in philosophy and can't get a job. Can I deduct my tuition as an investment loss?

Thames Water bills rocket.