Tavern Tale Spinner Pillows

Barman giving a boy a pipe for his farther who drinks there every night

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Fish talking about fisherman

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Fishing Boat Derby

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

300 cows in a field...grazing!

fairy tales

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

"The thing of it is I don't even fish!"

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

"Always exaggerate. It makes life seem more interesting."

'You've had enough!'

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

K9 Litterati.

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

Every App tells a story.

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

The Birth of the Easter Bunny.

"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

"Somewhere in France Maureen has a tête-à-tête."

"Just take the picture. I'll Photoshop in something really big when we get home."

Pandora's cat.

Engraving on tomb of the unknown writer - The END.

'Ollie, it's me! Some rich guy repeated one of my cockamamy tales and I sued him for intellectual property theft.'