Tattoo-free Trailblazers Pillows

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Quick swig first?"

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

'Okay. Tiger took care of golf. Serena did her part at Wimbeldon. That brings us to the final frontier... hockey.'

Children Teaching Adults to Use Computers

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

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Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

'You can take down your little sign, Marlene, we're switching over to computers on Monday.'

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

Tourists and GPS

Quite the entrepreneur...

"She scares the hell out of me. She's brainy, creative and sexy."

New look at Power Ties, Inc.

'I don't want to wear that, Mom!'

Elsa Alina Murano is president of Texas A&M, one of the country's 10-largest universities. She came to the USA from Cuba when she was barely 2 years old. She obviously started at an early age."

"They say she likes to teach dangerously. No assigned seats, partners or collateral required for her pencils. She's going completely rogue."

'Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun! Let's all go down and get tattooed and pierced!'

"Yes, I did say your computer froze, but the heater isn't going to help."

Tee-totalitarian

'Let's face it. We have an environmental crisis of our own!'

Hardcore Hikers

"Personally, I prefer it when he wears my underwear."

'The following have fees outstanding...'

"Technically, it's a breakthrough, but is there a demand for a riderless bike?"

Trail Wars

"Different? Hey, we could use different."

Since winning Lotto, I stay only in five-star hotels: No need for a shell anymore...

"It says, this is the part of the hike where you realize the author was racist."