Tasting Tour Enthusiast Gifts

Michel Roux Jr

The Vineyard

Our visit to the flan factory.

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

"Oh yes,decidedly hoppy."

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

Drinking wine has never been a spectator sport.

'Waiter there is an aeroplane in my soup!'

Singles Night: 'No, no, it's not you, the problem's with me - it's just that I'm cursed with good taste.'

'I'm just back from my 'Cheeses of France' discovery tour...It was amazing!...'

"Looks like dinner's going to take just a little longer."

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'All I can say is, if you like trying new beers and hate having money, this is the one for you.'

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

'They think it's Andover - it is Slough!'

"Of course the best way to lay compost is to get someone else to do it..."

The EU rolls back US wine imperialism. Chateau Postmoderne has undertones of angst, fragmentation and self-doubt, mixed with an intriguing gout de desespoir.

'And a hint of oak.'

"Actually, our cafeteria isn't that bad. Whenever they serve chicken strips or pizza, it's a good day!"

"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"

'In my opinion it's slightly too thin and light on the palette.' - 'That's your water.'

A Good Ordinary Claret

What everyone thinks tour is like vs. what tour is actually like.

Dignity Coach Tours - "Thank you for not singing"

'Black currants? Cherries? Tobacco? No, that's not what you're tasting at all.'