Tasteful Trendsetter Pillows

'Let's have a secret wedding - all my friends think I have better taste!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Haute Chinese

"That's very offensive."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

Woman colouring man's clothes with crayon.

"What's trending?"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Avacados

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"Dinner comes complete with coffee and your choice of dessert or an oil painting."

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

'I know it's a cry for help, but couldn't you just, like, say, 'Help?''

"I plant the kale back there to keep hipsters out of the good stuff!"

Gentrification of the fridge

Swells discussing thier coats

When it came to wearable technology, Nigel had always considered himself an early adopter.