Taste Bud Trickster T-Shirts

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Cat makes a dog pound cake with dog cather inside.

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"Namaste."

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Thanksgiving.

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

Frog Flycatcher.

'Mind if I join you? I told your wife that if she didn't like the way I cook, she could have a run at it herself.'

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

Dijon Vu

Scarecrow Directions

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"It probably tastes better than it looks!"

'What do you think? Does my lemonade need more sugar?'

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence downed set free the first turkey he sees."

"Let's just take the Kosciuszko."

'Inside of me a thin person is struggling to get out. I find that person can be sedated with a piece of chocolate cream cheese cake.'

Parisian Bohemians - Proprietor of a rabbit restaurant catching stray cats

'You know why Pilgrim's pants fall down? They wear their buckles on their hats.' Where Light and Dark Meat Comes From.