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'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Fixing the TV.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Computer operator welding machine.

Early Tech Support

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."