Tannin Analyst Pillows

'Yeah, I think it has too much tannin, too.'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

The Thought Process.

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'Trucker's tan?'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Sissy Spacek

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

'Think OUTSIDE the box, not ABOUT the box.'

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

I know why your insults aren't bothering anyone. Tell me meathead. We live in an insult culture. People are accustomed to getting insulted, and by professional critics. Simone Cowell, Bill O'Reilly, Dr. Laura

"I thought you meant a football pool."

Trump's firings

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

Tanning Machine on the beach

Gobbledygookologist

"You really need some sun."