Talk Time Aficionado Pillows

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Night Life: L.A.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

Jerry Springer

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

"You won't find Miss Miriam Hirschman an easy nut to crack, Mr. Leno."

Sally Jessy Raphael

The Great Larrynx

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'

"Next time, dear, just send the twelfth man out with drinks."