Talk Time Aficionado Mugs

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Night Life: L.A.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

The Walking TED Talk.

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

Jerry Springer

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

Orca Winfrey interviews Meghan Mackerel.

"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

"You won't find Miss Miriam Hirschman an easy nut to crack, Mr. Leno."

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."

The Great Larrynx

the Morning Joe team.

Sally Jessy Raphael

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'