Talent Twister T-Shirts

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

Curtsey

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Hanukkah tree

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

Signs of prehistoric party behavior.

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'I started at the bottom, running mazes in the lab.'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

Elevator choices: Up, Down, Different Narrative.

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

'I can't seem to find the 'surprise' ending.'

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'