Talent Quest Lover Pillows

TV programme - The Eggs Factor

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Lady of the bath...

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Here be dragons.

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

"I miss the Augean stables."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Myths and legends...

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Zorro as a child.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

Scotsman in the bath...

Bigfoot tracks...

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

'It's a bit demoralising when the Sheriff can claim it all back on expenses.'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

William Tell's Other Four Children

Grumpy old merry men.

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

Loch Ness Monster

Robin Hood Flies.