Talent Evaluator Pillows

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Rodin's Irish Judge

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

Critics In Love

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'You say here you're a people person.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

'Another stupid ball of string. I was hoping for a tablet."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

A couple look at a graph on their bed

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

'Your new boyfriend has potential, needs some omprovement. Overlooks a few things.' 'My husband is an estate agent.'

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

"Sometimes, I think you enjoy the performance review more than the sex."

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

"He's one in a million."

'Your performance in bed?...On technical merit of artistic impression?'

"Some people think it's as valid as testing our teachers."

Piano Four Extremities.

'Felton,has it occured to you that you may have taken a talent for self-effacement a bit too far?'

'Does the soundtrack to my life always have to be played on a wobble board?'

'Simms might be overextending himself.'

'I'd just like to go back to the 'all this' that Ed took me away from.'