Talent Agent T-Shirts

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

'Look, Jake, I like you, but I can't be your best friend AND your agent.'

Hollywood Talent: 'Sorry, kid, but there's a dog in China who will bark 'Jingle bells' for a third what we pay you!'

"So that's it then? Just the one trick?"

"Well Sid, I'll tell you why dogs get all the good parts. Dogs have better agents."

'I do great voice-overs.'

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"It's your agent. Everyone wants a piece of you."

'That's the best hold music I've ever heard, I'd like to sign you up at once'

Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

"I'm afraid you'll have to speak to my agent!"

Actors' dispute.

'Gents' toilet and an 'Agents' toilet

Henry the amazing talking dog.

Big Time Talent Agency: 'Sorry, boys- too doo-woppy.'

"We've invested heavily - If not always wisely - In talent."

'What do you mean I can't act?! I was in the touring company of 'Cats'!'

'I'm typecast!'

'Listen - if I can survive Antarctica, I can survive Hollywood.'

It's a recording contract from the whale's agent.

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

Talent Agent. When she promised to find a breakout acting role for me, I didn't know she was talking about an acne control product commercial.

"What else have I seen you in?"

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Rebel without an escape clause

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"There's not a large audience for your type of ethnic humor. After all, how many Peruvian-Greeks are there?"

"Problem is, it's the only song he knows."

"So, you were with original cast of Hair?"

"When my fifteen minutes of fame come, I want to make sure I capitalize on them."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...