Talent Acquisition Specialist Gifts

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

'If we're interested, we'll have our database contact your database.'

HR worker wading through CV's.

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Today's Specials

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

'He was hoping for £45,000 but I could only get him £44,500. . . I can hardly stand it.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"We're having to go further than EVER to get the right people!"

Recruitment Agency - "Of course the top drawer candidates are more expensive."

'I was told you were looking for a man of many hats.'

Competing for prospective employees by offering a retirement plan.

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

Henry the amazing talking dog.

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Fish and color

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...