Tactical Wizards Pillows

Peter Crouch

Lynching on social media

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Nerd tryouts.

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

"So who is this First pet?"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Don't worry about your hair, dear, I can fix it in post-production."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

He'll be fine after you reboot him, I've replaced his memory stick.

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

STRIP Hambone: Computer language

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

I can be upgraded, can you?

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

"Honey, the toaster is down, but it's already alerted the oven to pre-heat and broil your muffins."

Arsene Wenger

"Ladies and Gentlemen! For my next trick, I will attempt to correctly remember my password..."

"Thank you and feel free to download the appropriate holiday greeting from my website."

It's time, sir. Why don't you go first today. Ahem. Monkey Vicodin finance home office. Elongated African banking sex freak. The contest to see who got the day's weirdest email subject line. Spammers, we have a tie.

Scan And Repair

'I think we found the cause of your modem lag.'

Boo-gle.

'This is my multi application cell phone, it does all my work. I just hit OK button!'

Texting Addicts Anonymous