Tacky Dinner Aficionado Pillows

'Don't forget toothpicks for our candlelight supper tonight. . . get the cellophane tip ones; preferably gold to match the gold plastic service and mugs.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"....and hold the garlic."

Kentucky Fried Horse

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

Long Corkscrew

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."