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"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

Man to other about fish on wall: Heh - I use that size fish for bait!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Priest with Christian symbol

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Before instant replay.

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"You know very well what fish!"

Fish to angler: 'Nice try, pal, but I know plastic and feathers when I see them!'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'This is the spot that Tackle Dealer told us to try.'

Friendly fire!

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'I hate it when they use invisible line.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

Football

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Quick! Play dead!'

"Sure, it's an artificial fish. I caught it with artificial bait."

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'I like that guy. He gets a splitting headache, but instead of quitting, he calls time out, the athletic trainer tapes him up, and he gets right back in the game.'