Tabletop Football Fan Gifts

'That's David James, that's Sven...'

"'Kill you..?' - of course not; I'm making my own Subbuteo game."

Football Fans

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

Knights of the bedside table.

"Uptight End"

Remarkable run-ups 1890-1940

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Archaeologists discover a football

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Red Card - Gold Card.

Suzanne Lenglen

Children playing really hard at complex table football game

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Referee cop.

"Go deep!"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Football Violence

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

Centaur Sprinter

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"