Table Tactic Master Mugs

Snooker cue pierces ball.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

Football.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Before instant replay.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'This board meeting will come to order!'

Snooker.

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'Quick! Play dead!'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

Trojan Horse Threat.

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

College Football Player Cheat Sheet

'What's 8x9?' - '72' - '...and what's 9x8?' - '27' - 'Not quite, Nigel... have another go.' - 'Oh, it burns... it burns.'

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

Boy returns a shot in table tennis and breaks off a corner of the table.

"I'm not casting aspersions, but when you started on the bakery counter you only weighed 7 stone."

"I taught myself to beg."

For successful sea fishing the type of tackle must be appropriate to the kind of fish one wishes to catch.