Table Setting Perfectionist Gifts

'I can never remember. Does the cell phone go on the left or the right?'

"Sir Eustache is searching for a coaster for the holy grail."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"The last doggy bag."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

"Baldo, I finally got that stain out of your favorite shirt! Of course, I had to use my scissors."

'All dogs have four legs. All tables have four legs. All dogs are tables."

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

No caption. (A diner's napkin swan flies away).

"Five settings? Who's coming over?"

Oh, stop looking so smug. Like you had anything to do with hitting that bulls-eye.

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

"You're the only one in here who had to ask for a knife and fork."

Wedding Place-Setting Guide

Mind your manners and use a rounded tip knife instead.