Table Scrap Negotiator T-Shirts

"I allow you to use my name as your password, so the least you could do is feed me some table scraps from time to time."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'Dammit, I said 25 Billion Dollars-and not a penny less!'

'Damn it, he's lawyered up! By the time this works its way through the courts he'll be out of season!'

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

Lunch Broker

"We both know I'm going to feed Rex table scraps anyway, so I figured..."

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

'It's just a scratch. I can still handle dessert.'

"I'm just taking your advice and using every opportunity I can to make money."

"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

"Please no, anything but that! Not a frictionless Irish border!"

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"As you know, Ed, my pockets are considerably deeper than yours. Therefore, in addition to my share I'll be needing a percentage of yours."

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

'5 pounds of liver ought to be enough to get your husband to take you out for dinner.'