Scratch Post Negotiator T-Shirts

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"I got it from eBay."

"No screen time means more scream time."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'Is the fire included?'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"I appreciate you keeping up with the vernacular of the times, but please refrain from referring to the billion-dollar restructuring as 'The Dealio'."

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"I'm just taking your advice and using every opportunity I can to make money."

'It's just a scratch. I can still handle dessert.'

'I can't believe you threw my scratching invention away! I was going to sell it to Satchel for a lot of money.'

"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

'You do nice work!'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"As you know, Ed, my pockets are considerably deeper than yours. Therefore, in addition to my share I'll be needing a percentage of yours."

'You'll become a much better salesman because this little fellow will give you more self-confidence on price negotiations with aggressive purchase managers!'

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

"Mom, you say 40 is the new 30. . . can a D be the new C?"

"As part of the bank's form reduction policy, you wont' have to fill out any additional forms. Your loan application has not been approved."

'I'm negotiatin with Santa Claus the romval of my name from the bad childrens list.'

"You shouldn't take it so personally....interviews are a lottery you can't be guaranteed success....somebody else must have offered them a better deal."

"Would you please send in someone to talk me out of signing this contract?"