Systems Technologist Pillows

"Terrific references, but I'll give it to you straight – being an advanced systems technologist does not qualify you to be a second baseman."

In the Guru District

The Computer Bore

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Meet the author"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Ascent of Machine.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Artifishial Intelligence

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

Computer Expert

"What did you download at school today?"

Computer monitor for a head.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Hardware and software

Computer Class.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

Fixing the Computer.

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'