Systematic Thinker Gifts

"I think he may have a system."

How self-regulation is meant to work and how it does work.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

When Engineers Crack.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

Reasonableman

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

How Trickle Down Economics Work

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'So, how should we play this - capitalism or socialism?'

'...working for that Professor Schr?dinger didn't help.'

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

Dept. of Mathematics and Frustration.

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."