Syrup T-Shirts

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

Cupcake Excitement Scale

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

Frank and Ernie's Diner. Today: Alphabet Soup. The little green pieces? --- That's Ernie's idea. It's Q-cumber.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. I'll have the beef and tomato consomme from Santiago. Coming up one chilly Chile Chili!

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

Tea and Sugar Rationing

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

'More syrup anyone?'

'Can't you read?!'

Heavy syrup

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

Energy Drinks

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

I think the alphabet soup expired.

Diner. Menu. You overcooked the alphabet soup. The letters aren't holding their shape. We'll just say it's "cursive style"!

"Look at the hayseed! He's trying to milk a tree!

Reindeer using maple syrup bucket as a toilet.

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

'First, I want you to cut back on the carrot juice.'

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

Don't move Gertrude. A little dash of maple syrup will sweeten you up.