Sympathetic Partner Gifts

"His life was hanging by a thread, and then somebody fed him the bean burrito."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

Man with broken leg in cast.

"Congratulations, dear, you're the sickest looking one on the whole floor."

I'd climb the highest mountain for you...

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

'Chins up.'

"Ask me about my long face."

"She no longer laughs at my joke."

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

'Thank you for coming...I'll be ok...grief is the price we pay for love...'

"And to think, when we met online people said it would never last."

'We give credit where credit is due.'

"I DO like you. YOU don't like you."

Fortunately, behind every great God is a great Goddess.

'...Oh, and I bought some new smalls in town...'

A man who survived cancer and his wife.

"Empathising with your pregnant wife is laudable, but you've taken it too far - you're pregnant."

Animal cemetary with a grieving dog.

'I'm sorry, but we did all we could to try and save your husband, Mrs. Doornail.'

'Your heart is bigger than the average human heart. That's because you're an animal rights activist.'

"Anything horrible going on in your life?"

War & Peace

". . . Neither of you are fat, but I am. When thin people call themselves fat and gross what does that imply about me?"

"His knee is very painful for me to keep hearing about."

'For goodness sake, do it properly! Use your EYES! It's all about the EYES!!'

'I know you had a bad week, Dear, but you don't have to go through the communion line twice.'

'Now tell him about our one million kids-he's starting to weaken.'

'I really appreciate the visit Sarah, but you're sitting on my broken leg!'

"I will never let you drown."