Sympathetic Ear Gifts

"I hope you have new complaints, because mine are all the same."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Are you OK hun?"

Man with broken leg in cast.

Cares and woes.

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"Congratulations, dear, you're the sickest looking one on the whole floor."

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"His life was hanging by a thread, and then somebody fed him the bean burrito."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

'Cheer up...'

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

'I'm saying I want to share your pain you selfish bastard.'

Sling

"You're sad about the wrong things, Albert."

"It's OK, girl. I get tired, too."

4th of July and PTSD

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

'Maybe you should try crying on the OUTSIDE....'

'Thanks for bringing me lunch Rex: It's way too cold for me to come out today...'

Deflate counselling service

"She no longer laughs at my joke."

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

"...But rock bottom is my comfort zone!"

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

'You know me, I'm just that type of guy... always rooting for the underdog.'

"I'm washed up"

Reading a Eulogy.

"You do pro bono work, I work for a non-profit, we both do volunteer work... that's why we need food stamps."