Symbol Savorer Pillows

Pi-thon

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Pasta

London GPs could become an endangered species.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Women who Read Too Much

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

NEW FALL LINEUP

"Keep a television remote zapper handy along with a bottle of scotch whisky."

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

The good news is that you've cured me of my pornography addiction � The bad news is that now I'm addicted to Rorschach ink blots.

'May I recommend the monk fish, sir?

I love Berimbau!

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

"Who'd have thought a crease in the plans would result in an award for outstanding architecture?"

"You're not stepping on it right."

Fishing Quota - "Oh no! We've gone over the limit."

"Yes, the steaks have never been higher."

Two Men Having Showdown On Small Hill-Top

The Grim Peeper makes a house call.

'Ta da! A preview of coming extractions!'

'It keeps leftover wine fresh? Does that ever happen?'

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

"This IS Cinderella Sire, you should see her two ugly sisters!"

Conveyor belt sushi

"The end is near, now available on Amazon Prime."

"It's only panic alarm system... it goes off every time management suggest another reorganisation."

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

'I was retaining water, so I cut out the salt. Now I retain gas.'

'I've never seen so many chinese restaurants.'

"He's not a third- rate second-rate artist. He's a first-rate third-rate artist."