Sweet-toothed Historian T-Shirts

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Archimedes statue with a lever

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Plymouth Rock

'See, Dad. I told you these gummy worms would work.'

Litteratti K9s.

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

A caveman attempting to make a cart

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

"You look good for your age."

Bit coin.

'He was getting tetchy over the duopsony for the last sweeting.'

"Mr. Boyd, are you charged with stealing from Bob's bakery. How do you plead?"

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

Style

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

The Trojan Horse poops alphabet blocks.

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Ancient man