Sweet Believer Pillows

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

Whole foods versus 'hole foods'.

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

'I'm working off Saturday's sundae.'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

Give Thanks.

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

"... And I think you should apologise to that palm reader for scoffing at her predictions."

'If you're a good boy, Santa will bring you tires next year.'

Guardian Angels and Operations