Swashbuckling Storyteller Mugs

'My advice to you, Mr Long John, is to forget this pirate nonsense - get yourself on a course'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Swan Fairy Tales

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Kirsten Johnson

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Pirate eye test

Santa's Helpers

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

My Spam Sketchbook

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

Baby Bear.

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Reading

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

Gag - a graphic novel

Mephistopheles

Young Stephen King

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."