Sustainable Savers Pillows

'The money we're saved on gas paid for Jim's leg when he tripped over the cord.'

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Investing your savings

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Nuclear generation of energy.

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"These latest surveys are very reassuring."

Tree Funeral

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"It failed the stress test."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Reuse it or lose it.

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Doesn't bother me. All my money is in carbon-cleanup technologies.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

New Year 2020

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

Magazines - All Special Green Issues.

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'