Suspicion Explorer Pillows

'Are you sure there isn't anyone else, Julie?'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"#BeCurious"

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

Bird Bath.

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'You carry a rabbit's foot — well, that explains the rabbit fever.'

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Scientists believe the mysterious asteroid, known as 'Oumaumau', may be a space probe, a discarded solar sail or a huge alien turd."

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

Two men converse secretively

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

Rush Limbaugh, Balloon Boy.

"I'm going to need some butter and a makeshift winch."

I don't trust that guy.

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...