Suspicion Explorer Pillows

'Are you sure there isn't anyone else, Julie?'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"#BeCurious"

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Bird Bath.

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

Two men converse secretively

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'You carry a rabbit's foot — well, that explains the rabbit fever.'

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

"I'm going to need some butter and a makeshift winch."

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

I don't trust that guy.

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'