Supply Chain Survivor Pillows

"We're drawing down our inventory since it can't seem to tear itself away."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Made in China.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Export

Do not feed the clerks.

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

'Excuse me, but is there any chance of finding me a decaffeinated clerk?'

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

The Two Economies

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, I'm sorry, the HVAC engineer isn't here ... No, I'm not sure when he'll be back? Would you like to be put on hold?'

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

'Of course I care, madam!'

Where has he been so long?

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

Till malfunction

"Uh oh...I was concerned about a supply chain break."

Milkshake Shortage