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"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

One way only.

"First you make a roux."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

The Authentic Christmas.

A wiser and a better man

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Trusting

Fish near-death experiences.

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

The perils of overwork.

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"It's the gluten-free edition."

'Grandpa says there are good banks and bad banks, and I hope you're a good bank.'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'I've pinpointed our problem. There's too much month left at the end of my salary!'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

Have you heard of the miracle of compound interest, Rudy? I think. It's when your money earns interest, and then you earn interest on both your money and your interest. Is that like spending? What? No, it's the opposite of spending. The opposite of spending is buying. What? No, it's ... You're going to die penniless!!! Have you heard of the miracle of credit cards?

'Apparently it's something to do with our methane gas output.'

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

'If you're alive this time next week, you'll be living beyond your means.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."