Supper Club Host T-Shirts

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

Horn of Leftovers

Ghostbasters 3

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

French suppers.

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"Appetizer is almost done."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."