Supervisors Gifts

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

We should promote many of our staff to management positions...

'Are you sure you're busy enough Simkins? You seem to have spent the entire day unbending paperclips.'

(Mousetrapped desk) "Go ahead, Winslow...it's just a small thank-you on the eve of your retirement."

What do you mean you overheard Mr.Fox firing someone today? He was talking to you.

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

'Old money meet new credit card debt.'

'I just wanted to let you know, Wilson, that I'll be blaming you for everything until the computers are back up.'

'Hey, replace your divot.'

'Here's the new project, finished and on time. Don't ask what I had to go through to get it done.'

"Management really cares about our well being. They want us to leave work the same way we came in - depressed and hopeless."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Others will fight for you

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Boss's Desk Says No!

How leaders fail

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.