Supervisor Gifts

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

"Considering I punch in and out for you half the time, Larry, I guess it's only fair I keep half your paycheck!"

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'This really is an innovative approach, but I'm afraid we can't consider it. It's never been done before.'

Change Management: Here There,,,'We thought we'd put in the detail later,'

Need a little help with your career planning?

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

'That went well.'

'What did you take away from the meeting?'

'Miss Wilcox, send in someone to blame.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

Well the good news is that you'll be leading the team...And the BAD news...you ARE the team!

Computer neck.

'And this is Mr Whittingstall...He's in charge of compliance.'

'I think he needs to work a little more on giving feedback.'

Performance Management: "Jump!"

That memo you wrote on reducing office emails generated 3,000 new emails.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are."

"You have not shown initiative because I never asked you to?"

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

"This is where you'll be working. Don't worry if it's confusing at first, you'll have training."

"We've seen all the data and crunched all the numbers, now, heads or tails?"

"When do the training wheels come off?"

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

We thought we'd put in the detail later.

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

Passing the buck.

"All six suppliers are complaining that you are not taking this selection process seriously!"