Superstitious Colleague Pillows

"And this is what happens when the Equinox falls on Casual Fridays."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

Bureau of the Damned

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

Net Zero Superstitions

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

Bad luck

"This one is less distracting."

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

Health and safety nightmare.

"Wider."

'Get me everything on scapegoats.'

'I play well with others.'

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

'I'm superstitious, I never walk under a ladder, I touch wood...' '..And he never works on a week with a Tuesday in it!'

"Eeek! I just realized that your my 13th paranoid this month!"

'Don't mention the piece of onion on his chin, or the custard on his tie.'