Superpower Ponderer T-Shirts

"The tests confirm, you are indestructible. . . aside from being chewable."

'What did we do before China made everything?'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Shall we put it in play?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

Progress?

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."