Superficial Style Critic T-Shirts

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"That shirt is so last year."

The Female Brain and The Other One

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"...This is the only way I can get though college!"

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

Power Bowties: 'It projects a subtle, confident power, rather than the abrasive, overbearing power of the standard tie.'

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'He left me five minutes after he got his new National Health glasses.'

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

Mirror, mirror, oval in shape, who's that pretentious beret-wearing ape?

Budget cure

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

'What is she thinking? Cloth diapers are soooo out of style this season.'

'I'm going to stop coming here -it's completely lost it's fresh, country atmosphere!'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

Before becoming an astronomer, James worked in the fashion industry.

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

Style Consultant